5 Easy Ways To Be More Likable

Many folks strive to achieve likability, though succeeding doesn’t always come naturally. Being likable sometimes requires a bit of extra effort: You may need to forgo certain behaviors and instead act in a way that makes people want to spend time with you and leaves them looking forward to the next time you meet. Thankfully, doing so doesn’t have to be difficult. Here are five simple changes to make in how you conduct yourself so that you can be seen as more amiable.

Nod More Often

A 2017 study determined that nodding during a conversation improves the nodder’s likability and approachability. Participants were asked to assess the likability of computer-generated models — ones that nodded, others that shook their heads, and some that remained motionless. The participants found the models that nodded to be 30% more likable and 40% more approachable than the models that didn’t. This is no coincidence, as a basic nod “makes you feel that there’s a connection,” body language expert Patti Wood told Men’s Journal. Nodding helps the other person feel like you’re listening and understanding what they’re saying, and because of that, they’re more likely to think positively of you in return.

Repeat a Person’s Name

Saying someone’s name in conversation is likely to forge a strong bond between you. “Because our names are such an indispensable part of our identity, we love it when people use them,” psychologist Dr. Lindsay Henderson said in an interview with Bustle. “We feel validated.” You don’t need to overdo it and use a person’s name in every sentence, but here and there does help. Instead of a simple “hello,” try “hello, John.” Or rather than “Why do you think that?” say, “Why do you think that, Angela?”

Ask Questions

Posing questions is a surefire way to be thought of as more likable. Behavioral scientist Dr. Alison Wood Brooks wrote that “among the most common complaints people make after having a conversation … is ‘I wish [s/he] had asked me more questions.’” Wood Brooks noted that certain questions are more likely to elicit a positive response than others, like “What are you excited about lately?” or “Is there something you’d like to learn how to do?” Asking questions helps us form bonds on a deeper level, as it shows you’re interested in learning more about the other person.

Seek Common Ground

If you want to be more likable, a simple “same here” can go a long way. People are always looking to meet others who share their interests, whether it’s a hobby like tennis, traveling to national parks, or raising young children. Don’t pass up the chance to let the other person know that you’ve had a shared experience — it’s a great way to form friendships.

Own Your Flaws

Nobody is perfect, but there sure are plenty of people who try to pretend they are — and that comes across as inauthentic. Conversely, there’s a psychological phenomenon called the pratfall effect that suggests mistakes can actually boost your likability. If you’re considered to be a capable person and you make a small mistake that you own up to, people actually like you more for showing your authenticity and vulnerability. That said, people aren’t likely to be as forgiving of larger mistakes or repeated, frequent errors. But owning a tiny slip-up here and there can improve your likability quite a bit.

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